A trendy watch will make you appear a well-off person.

I seem to get a lot of spam to an email account that should be discontinued, they all follow the same structure, subject, single sentence and a linkto some iffy website. I find them quite funny. Who would buy something from these people?

Your male member can be as huge as Titanic.
You will be surprised how deep it can go.

How did they know my MP was male, I think drowning politicians is a great idea!

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Your instrument will be so large you will be able to touch the ceiling with it.
Now you can show the people that used to make fun of you what you are worth.

How is someone meant to get on top of it if it's hitting the ceiling?

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Average joes don't come in this size.
Drive crazy any chick with your mega super stick.

I am getting mental images of dendropheliac girls chasing a bloke carry a large tree branch. To the Benny Hill theme.

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Get a better sex life now.
Battle of the largest sausage.

Idea for ITV1, they only show shit programmes anyway. SAUSAGE WARS, high street butchers and supermarket butchers battle to the death using only sausages as weapons. Who will be the one to cause the fatal blow?

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Looking good is all that matters
A trendy watch will make you appear a well-off person.

I must appear well off, can't look like I'm not, what will the neighbours think? Quick hide behind the sofa for two weeks then hit the tanning booth, they'll think I've been off on an expensive holiday!

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Now nothing can stand on your way to the male success.
Now you will have Hard Rock not only on your Cd's but in your pants as well.

I don't want a cafe in my pants.

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You don't have to make up stupid excuses now - the blue pill will make you a man.
You will always have noontime in your pants.

Yeah because walking about all day with an erection isn't going to cause problems if you go out in public or don't want your bladder to explode.

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Women are staring at you because they know what power you've got.
The magic blue pill will wake up your little friend in a few minutes.

I have power? This makes me sound like I'm Harry Potter or something, and who is this little friend? How do they know I have rats? I'd rather let the little monsters sleep.

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Yes, girls always tell their girlfriends about the men they sleep with.
You can't party when your instrument is dead.

I have several instruments and can easily repair broken ones, and there's always a spare. Also let's face it, anticipation combined with removing clothing will do it for most men anyway.