2011: My Year In Music: Album Reviews

At the end of December for the past few years I have seen people regularly posting their music/gig review of the year, usually with their favourite albums of the year. I only ever seemed to manage the odd one or two, and if I was lucky they'd actually been released in the that year, as opposed to me either finding something I'd never heard before, or stocking up on back catalogues. This year however has been a year where this has changed!

If you've accidentally stumbled across this thinking you'll find positive words about masters of blandness Coldplay, I'm afraid you're going to be sorely disappointed, however if you'd like to read some half baked opinons about album's you've never heard of, by bands you're just as likely to have never heard of then, feel free to indulge.

I've seen less gigs this year, but I've been impressed with the quality of what I have seen, The Lovely Eggs, Kid Canaveral, Kunt and the Gang, Tim Ten Yen, The Frank & Walters and Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine. Oh I also saw Morrissey but I was really unimpressed with the sound, whether it was the venue or Moz's setup, it's not entirely clear. However enough waffle about that, it's time to get on with reviewing albums. The albums have been arranged in no particular order.

I don't claim to be good at writing reviews, which is why one of the reasons I've stuck plenty of videos into this post, please give yourself about half an hour to sit down and read this and watch the videos. I hope you enjoy this and hopefully I've caught all the typos when my brain was miles ahead of my fingers.

Brilliant! Tragic! - Art Brut
The last Art Brut record Art Brut vs. Satan two years ago ended up being one of the main soundtracks in a particularly chaotic phase of my life.. Brilliant! Tragic! like the previous album was produced by Black Francis and the art work was  by Jamie McKelvie. With the heartfelt plea of 'The record buying public shouldn't be voting' on Demon's Out from the last album  I wondered what lyrical gems would be unearthed this time around? A smile is raised half way through the first song.  'Clever Clever Jazz' about playing your first gig to a small unfriendly heckling crowd. "Stop shouting play what you know! Let us get on with the show, Clever Clever Jazz band, we're working in a genre you don't understand!" war cries Eddie in his distinctive voice. It may surprise you to learn that this time round that Eddie's voice is different on some tracks however Black Francis has been teaching Eddie to sing in whispery tones, which resulted in the sublime single 'Lost Weekend'. A song I've been compelled to stick on a loop for over an hour and still wanted to keep listening to it after.

Lost Weekend - Art Brut


As I continue the trip through the rest of the album it feels a bit less together than Art Brut vs. Satan. It feels like there at lots of varying moods involved or that there's been a shift in mood as the songs have been written particularly the last two tracks. This is in no way a bad thing, but I was something I noticed. Art Brut tackle an wide range of subjects throughout the album such as Axl Rose, Eddie dying and (in a seperate song) a girlfriend getting friendly with, then leaving for a 'Bad Comedian', with Eddie checking the bloke out on social media sites. The lines "How can you bear to hold his hand? I bet he signs his name in Comic Sans!" make me smirk.. On this album Art Brut musically feel like they're progressing happily along their chosen path while lyrically Eddie's wit and observation seem to be bang on, yet continue to be simple and straight forward without trying to be overly clever. While Eddie's vocals may be an acquired taste for some, they've made a good mix of his usual and new vocal styles.  Art Brut are back and continuing to do things their own way. If only more bands would follow this example.

http://www.artbrut.org.uk

Fuck You! I'm Keith Top Of The Pops - Keith Top Of The Pops and his Minor UK Indie All-Star Celebrity Backing Band
Let's start by understanding who Keith's Minor UK Indie All-Star celebs are. The band line up for this album includes the following people Keith TOTP, Mikey Drums, Fruitbat, Jimbob, Eddie Argos, Jasper Future, Ian  Catskilkin, Simon Indelicate, Julia Indelicate, Sarah Nixey, John Moore,  Luke Haines, Charley Stone, David Barnett, Sue Denim, Dee Plume, Jackie  McKeown, James Rocks, Micky Ciccone, Adie Nunn, Sara Saw,  Dave Fade,  Johnny Fade, Dyan Valdes, Keith Murray, Chris Cain, Arec G Litter, and  Tim Ten Yen from the following artists - Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine, Art Brut, The Blood Arm, Everybody Was In The French Resistance...Now!, The Indelicates, Black Box Recorder, The Auteurs, Jim Bob, Abdoujaparov, Luke Haines, Mr. Solo, David Devant and his Spirit Wife, The Fades, The Helmholtz Resonators, Tim Ten Yen among others. Keith's has been described as being notably influenced by Half Man Half Biscuit and the live performance features as many people as playing as many instruments as possible as far as I know I think he's had 7 guitars at once, along with saws, clarinets, etc.

Getting back on track, the album kicks off with head nodding ditty 'Girl' a song about Keith's ex who he doesn't like very much. Keith shows his humorous side with 'Pretentious Title TBC' - "I only read books by dead authors, beat poets, lesbians, autistic auteurs. I'd rather help lead a stray dog than a bull. At least they won't try moving next door.' You do wonder what parts are mock arrogance. Some songs would make wonderful sing-a-longs such as the joyful ode 'Two Of The Beatles Are Dead'. It's not all comedy, there are quieter, sincere moments such as 'Try Your Best' and 'What's On Your Mind?' which will strike a chord with anyone who's dealt with moody people who won't talk about what's bothering them and take it out on others. Keith also let's rip about moving to London and discovering all these gigs full of shit bands, bands who copy looks and sounds and end up fairly weak on 'I Hate Your Band' - "You're just ripping off... "  he emphatically yells several times towards the close of the song, thing is he's right.

Keith may sing "Your opinion doesn't matter 'cos your not me." My opinion is wondering why you haven't got on-line and ordered this yet? Buy his album  on CD/Vinyl/MP3
http://corporaterecords.co.uk/artists/Keith+Top+Of+The+Pops+&+His+Minor+UK+Indie+All-Star+Celebrity+Backing+Band/Fuck+You!+I%27m+Keith+Top+Of+The+Pops+-++Special+Ed

Björk - Biophilla
I'm used to comments such as 90s throwback from Mr Howie, anyone who takes the time to rumage through my music collection will see that it's far more diverse than that, yes I was very much an early 90s person, that was the time I got into music. I always look forward to a Björk album. Back in the early noughties I started getting into Björk, it's an example of an artist I didn't like and couldn't get into. Oddly that changed when I picked up a copy of Debut as I liked one of the songs on it, it started a liking that's grown over the years, so a new Björk album was eagerly anticipated, the theme of the album is the cosmos. The first time I heard it, it seemed to be an album that's hard to penetrate, the songs are pleasant enough, but I can't find an occasion where I want to listen to this album. I like it, but I don't want to listen to it, it doesn't seem to fit into my life. When cooking? It doesn't feel right. When chilling out perhaps? No,  it's not right for that either. How about wandering to and from work, or sitting on the train? Again no, I just want to hit the next button when it comes on. I can't find an appropriate mood for listening to this album. However upon re-listening to this album the dischord appears to be down to me "remembering" only the songs which have disjointed sounds, sounds that don't fit or make me cringe, the culprits are Thunderbolt, Dark Matter an  Hollow. These songs create a horrible un-nerving feeling in me, so much so I am compelled to skip past them. Ingoring these I find can happily work, read or just put it on in the background and relax to it and the sense of disappointment that originally felt evaporates. Musically this is Björk continuing in the direction she's been heading for years, I only hope the aspects of dischordant cacophany in this album are not Björk's final destination.

Crystalline - Björk


http://www.bjork.com

Cob Dominos - The Lovely Eggs
Following from 2009's 'If You Were Fruit', The Lovely Eggs are back with 'Cob Dominos' and happy to let us know it with the first single off the album the kick-in-the-face-tastic 'Don't Look At Me (I Don't Like It)'. This album has much pared down arrangements compared to their debut, here it's mainly drums and guitar and they prove resourceful with it. The material is great fun, songs about simple, straightforward everyday things. 'Panic Plants' for example, is about worrying about leaving the oven on when you go out, and similar things that will niggle at the back of your head. There are several songs around or under a minute, they don't feel like they're just been thrown on, but funny ideas that you know will never translate into a full songs, such as 'Pets' but they fit in just fine, and you wonder why more people don't do this? The highlight for me is 'Watermelons', fast, upbeat, happy and it's got a Kazoo on it. You can't go wrong with Kazoos as Kunt and the Gang can attest to in their live set. There is one song on this album that I just can't warm to and that's 'Hey Scraggletooth', and that's probably due to the title conjouring up a vile  image that is far too vivid and cringeworthy for me. That aside, just buy this album. You will not regret it.

Don't Look At Me (I Don't Like It) video (feat. John Shuttleworth).


New single: Allergies (This track is not on 'Cob Dominos')


Hurry Up And Suck Me Off Before I Get Famous - Kunt and the Gang
Mr Tuppence strikes wanks again! Kunt and the Gang is one of those artists that people will see the name and assume it will just be shit or not as funny as people on the internet make out. This is Kunt's 4th "proper" album, the 3rd album 'One Last Wank and One Last Cry' was released back in 2008, since then he's released a couple of compilation albums, one a best of, the other of double album of rarities, there's also been a musical: Kunt and the Gang presents... "Shannon Matthews the Musical". This time round we bouncy, perky keyboard driven songs about oral sex, wanking, faecal fun and premature ejaculation, in other words it's business as usual. You may wonder how someone can make a career last this far powered largely by obscenity and swearing? With Kunt it's not just filth and (self) abuse, in addtion what you get are witty, well observed and clever lyrics combined with melodies and catchy choruses that will hook into your brain for days on end. He finds a way into your head against your will and he likes it. The latest release is no exception.

Since the tail-end of last year, Kunt's started an infrequent YouTube sitcom "Peverts on the Internet", a couple of the songs from this turn up on here, the title track 'Hurry Up...' and my current earworm 'If In Doubt Get Your Corey Out' both feature, and both are self explanitary, unlike 'Bangers and Mash' which you could mistakenly think was, instead it's a humorous tale of toilet ettiquette and worrying about how to explain away a cubicle situation that's not of Kunt's making.

'My Homless Friend' - Kunt and the Gang


There's a pleasant surprise this time round as there's a bit of a departure from usual subjects and we have Kunt expanding his horizons and dipping his cock into moist new territory with songs like 'Paul Stevenson's Party' - the hilarious tale of a chaotic house party Kunt went to in his youth that gets overrun while the parentals are out of town. 'My Homeless Friend', a song about Kunt being a minor internet star and meeting ones of his old friends who is now homeless and comparing their lives. There's also 'Teach Your Kids To Smoke' and 'Let's Fuck About With Fireworks' a fuck off to health and safety. It's a brave move into new areas and it's ones that proves funny and fruitful. The album's rounded off with '50 Things You Should Think About To Stop You Doing Your Beans' a song that is in the same vein as 'For A Million Pounds' but shorter and more sedate and I can't help but wonder if this is intended to perhaps displace the latter in the live show? If you want to take a look at Kunt and the Gang material beyond his minor internet hits compilation album 'Complete Kunt', this is a great place to start.

 This year's Christmas single from Kunt and the Gang - Jesus (Baby With A Beard)


http://www.kuntandthegang.co.uk

90 Bisodol (Crimond) - Half Man Half Biscuit
There's a dimension somewhere out there where Half Man Half Biscuit rule the charts, are revered by all and get the credit they deserve, sadly it's not in the dimension in which we exist. My first experience of Half Man Half Biscuit was CSI:Ambleside, an album that made me question how on earth I had never got into this band before, for a band that's been around since the early 80s that's quite a feat. This album feels like they've raided their own back catalogue for sounds, so musically it has the feel of a 'Best Of' Half Man Half Biscuit album. There's nothing wrong with that but 'Descent of the Stiperstones' is revisiting CSI:Ambleside's 'National Shite Day' and while very a much a spoken word track set to music, sadly this it's not as funny. This quickly remedied by 'Left Lyrics In The Practice Room' by driven by an Achtung Bono 'Restless Legs' or 'Joy Division Oven Gloves' style jaunt. This album doesn't feel as quite strong and together as CSI:Ambleside although it manage to hit the lyrical standards you'd expect from Half Man Half Biscuit in the lyric department. The resulting product is a solid Half Man Half Biscuit album you'd be happy to play to your parents, even though it may not be their strongest, it  is certainly very welcome.

Green Naugahyde - Primus
The only band to that crops up as a genre in various pieces of media software. Terms like 'wacky' and 'comedy' are often applied to Primus which seems slightly unfair when terms like 'innovative' should be applied in the same sentence. 1999s 'Antipop' was the chemotherapy that wiped out the memory of 1997s cancreous 'The Brown Album', this album firmly re-establishes their position after a 12 year hiatus. Primus are not just re-invigorated, they're revitalised and are hitting the ground running, Les Claypool's bass is as zany as ever yet still providing a solid base for the songs. Part of this is due to the band's original drummer (before they got signed), returning to the fold and pushing some the boundaries and encouraging them to play songs they rarely or never played live. I'm glad of this because you can hear the enthusiasm along with a new found maturity throughout the album, there's less 'comical' observations than previously 'De Anza Jig' or 'Wynona's Big Brown Beaver', however this doesn't mean they don't know how to have fun. The songs all slot together nicely, even having revisited subjects they've used many times before like drugs : 'Jilly's On Smack' they continue to tell new tales that don't bore us. They've written another chapter to the Fisherman's Chronicles, Part IV: 'Last Salmon Man'. With this album Primus are like the man who went away for many years and has just walked back into his old local and everyone who thought they'd never see him again are very much glad to see him return.

Tromsø, Kaptien - Robyn Hitchcock
A solo offering from Mr. Hitchcock this time around. Many of the songs are influenced by Norway, in fact this was recorded in Norway and even features Robyn singing in Norweigan on the final track. Here we kick of with 'Light Blue Afternoon' a perky little Beatles influenced number, before lapsing into a re-working of 'Raining Twlight Coast' from Robyn's Eye album. The material here is fairly upbeat, even in song with titles like 'Dismal City' or the mellow tones of 'The Abyss' have a vein of upliftment running through them. The album is rounded of with a Godnatt Oslo, a Norweigen version of 'Goodnight Oslo', the arrangement of which has also been altered to so it fits better with the other songs on the album.



http://www.robynhitchcock.com

The Life Equation - Akira The Don
My first encounter with Akira The Don was back at the end of 2005, I'd gone to a gig in London and he was the support act. I wasn't sure if I wanted to like or hate him, I wasn't particularly into rap, but this bloke both rapped and sang in a weird yet alluring combo. He seemed genuinely happy and cheerful and it didn't seem put on, which seemed unnerving. It was his song 'Clones' that sampled the Alice Cooper song of the same name and also used the chorus, and 'Thanks For All The AIDS' a rant against ignorance, that stuck in my head. Six years later I ended up buying 'Clones' off his website, I got sent a copy of his album 'The Omega Sanction' whether it was a mistake or a kind gesture I'm not sure, but I had a listen, loved what I heard and that drew me back to the website to buy more, then discovered his entire back catalogue of his own material and his 'mixtape' archive was available to stream live. I ended up buying all the available CDs one of which was his latest album - 'The Life Equation'.

This particular album describes itself as "Album of the Year" and I agree 100% with this bold claim.

I stuck it on when I had a long car journey and because I couldn't swap cds while driving I'd left it on, so the CD looped 3 times, and I was pretty much hooked on it. Any poor person who saw me on the return journey would have seen some daft bloke singing 'We Are Not Alone' while driving along some mad diversion through Dumbarton. You need to learn now that Akira The Don is not scared of sampling and produces some pretty damned good material by doing so, it's also worth mentioning that the album's produced by Stephen Hague. Akira strikes a balance between singing and rapping and it works amazingly well. It's pop/rap crossing over Jim but not as we know it. How to describe it? Well there's videos below which should show you the depth and diversity of Akira The Don's material and talents.

I Am Not Dead (Yeah!) - Akira The Don


Babydoll - Akira The Don


Nothing Lasts Forever - Akira The Don (New Single)


'The Life Equation' itself is a 13 and a half minute masterpiece,  several tracks all built into one, it's a bit like a novel of short stories beginning with 'In The Morning' before moving into,''Antilife' then' 'A Cautionary Tale' an seemingly autobiographical tale of getting caught smoking weed in public, before completely changing topic and wandering into 'I Don't Own A TV' which samples Squeeze, and extoles the virtues of, and encourages you to not own a TV:  "Who puts food in the fat man's gut? Who turns your daughter into a slut, namanamanamanama I should warn you, it's that black box sitting in the corner". Before crashing into the speedy 'Jesus' - "was a lovely bloke, but I ain't seen him lately" and crashing into 'Ave Satanus' and drifting into a reprise of 'In The Morning'.

Listen to the album on-line here: http://akirathedon.com/music/albums/the-life-equation/

As for the rest of A.K.Donovan's compilation albums released this year I picked up here's links to each with favourite tracks.

Living In The Future - Akira The Don
Jamie, Living In The Future 2, Steven Wells (He Was The Greatest)
Listen here: http://akirathedon.com/music/albums/living-in-the-future-lp/

The Omega Sanction - Akira The Don
The First Day Of Spring, 18,
Listen Here: http://akirathedon.com/music/mixtapes/akira-the-don-the-omega-sanction/

Thieving - Akira The Don
Werewolves!, Giro, Jesus, Security
Listen here: http://akirathedon.com/music/mixtapes/thieving-2/

Stunners 130 - Akira The Don & Wade Crescent
This is a mashup album, unfortunately I'm assuming due to copyright, he can't stream it off his website.

The first album - When We Were Young
Clones, Thanks for All The AIDS, (Oh) What A Glorious Thing!
Listen Here: http://akirathedon.com/music/albums/when-we-were-young/

http://www.akirathedon.com

Feeling Festive?

It's November, the shops have got their Christmas displays out and there will be guaranteed to be someone making a statement about how it is too early for such things and how there should be a law which prohibits any mention of Christmas outside of December. It happens every year, it's not very in the spirit, but what is the real meaning of Christmas these days?  When I grew up this is how it went. I was taught that's it the birth of Jesus Christ our apparent saviour, who was born in a barn to a virgin called Mary, who's husband Joseph accepted this as a miracle. If Mary lived in this day and age and told Joseph why she was pregnant, he may well have beaten Mary to find out who had shagged her and may have tried to "solve" the pregnancy by failing to prevent her from falling down, then back up some stairs. Then again the Joseph of now might just walk off, or he may even have compassion and forgiveness and be prepared to stand by Mary? Even though the story is easily unbelievable, if we don't look cynically at it, we see Joseph accepting what his wife tells him and is happy about it, we see kindness in the form of being given somewhere, though the inn-keepers could have given up their room to a pregnant woman, that aside there's more kindness in the form of the gifts from the three wise men.

Move on several years, as I got older we learn there are various forms of Christianity some more strict than other. There were also many other religions in the world, and that some people chose to have no religion at all. I see that there are common themes running through the religions yet there are minorities from all of these religions will aggressively argue that their one is "correct" and all others are "wrong", even some of those who choose not to believe in a religion are just as capable of behaving like this. Out of all this this I discovered that pre-Christian Germanic, Roman, and Celtic people celebrated the Winter Solstice. As Christianity was becoming more popular, they introduced their celebration which is widely believed to integrate into the existing solstice celebrations and drive a shift towards their own celebration. This was one of the more amiable interpretations, in some cases the use of phrases like "The Christians stole Yule" and implying that the aim was to wipe out the existing Pagan religion and replace it with their own. I don't know specifically how it was implemented because I wasn't there, and I bet you weren't either. Though I can accept that Christmas was merged into the existing festivals in an underhand way of promoting Christianity. What is interesting however, is that the winter solstice itself survived as a festival, even though it's greatly overshadowed, many of its ancient traditions have also survived through the ages.

From nobeliefs.com

    The use of holly, mistletoe, yule logs, wassail bowls, and decorating a tree derived from early pagan customs. Many European countries still call this celebration "Yule-tide" meaning "wheel time," the cycles of time. None of these derive from Christian origin.

That's where Christmas and some of the traditions are rooted. To be honest I'm not always entirely sure how I should feel about Christmas. It would be easy to get annoyed to hear the hypocrisy of Christians complaining about how Christmas has become commercialised and that's not what it's about, especially since you could ask what right do they have to do this, since they went and tried to change an existing festival for their own means. It was however at least 1500 years ago and people now are not responsible for the actions of their ancestors.

In the eyes of many there is only one winter festival for them, for the vast majority it's Christmas. Is Christian element of Christmas being reduced down to a fairytale and some decorative imagery? How many people believe in the religious aspect of Christmas? For the past few years, I've constantly heard people (of no specific religion) that Christmas is too commercial. I'd like to know what they're doing to change it, because I don't see them make any effort to do so. Maybe it's because they'd be labeled killjoys for doing so? Maybe they are seeing what many can't, that it's become so commercial because the meaning of Christmas has become diluted over the years, and the religious aspect no longer taken as seriously?

Here's my idea, why not have one day of the year where the world can shut down for a day, and people are nice to each other, give gifts if they want, and use it to serve as a reminder than the world is a horrible place sometimes, but it's families, friends working together that make it a much better place, I'd like to see it incorporate every single person performing least one random act of kindness, whether it is helping that pensioner across the road, giving stuff to a charity shop, buying a Big Issue or giving it a few more days before throwing a brick through some poor bugger's window.

Kids should be taught the real origins of Christmas. Kids love nativity, the rest of us are probably bored to tears by it. I know was bored of it by the time I was seven or eight. They should be taught about all the winter festivals, and they should also learn that Christianity was imposed on the winter festivals but it picked up a lot of traditions from them on the way. Also make sure to teach them carols, they're fun! Everyone one loves 'Jingle Bells' and 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer', they tell you they don't then they're lying. These songs are bright and cheery and reflect that this time of year should be happy. It is also a time for embracing tolerance so no matter what religion people are they should be able to be happy, tolerant, kind and try to be less selfish. In an ideal world it would be a non-religious festival, that's not going to change, however what's to stop it evolving into something bigger and better? Creationists I presume, but the rest of us? We've better things to do than have petty beefs, let's give an additional meaning to the winter festivals: "Look after each other and don't be a cunt." It's not the catchiest, but at least it's heartfelt and honest.

Given all the recent hoo-haa over Armistice Day, I'm wondering how many "if you don't like Christmas, go back to yer own country" comments we see springing up between now and Christmas, and how many of these people will ever realise the person they're telling to go home is already home because this is their country too?  If you want Christmas to be religious, make it so, if you want it to be something else, go for it. All I ask is that people are united in looking out for others over the festive period and where possible to exercise a little more kindness.

Sorry but you're going to have to work for it.

I read the article from the Guardian on the train this morning and my heart sank. It claims "shows such as Big Brother and The Apprentice have impaired the confidence of a generation of British youngsters".

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/aug/05/reality-tv-harming-youngsters-confidence?INTCMP=SRCH

While I mainly agree with the article, I think this is one of many symptoms of our society today. In the past 10 years there has been a major cultural shift towards having everything now, without waiting. While they are not individually repsonsible, mobile phones, credit cards, loans and more lately due to social networking, the Internet, allow us to do things immediately, and we've become used to the idea of not having to wait for things. It also has the side effect of allowing people to bypass the responsibility of having to work for things, whether it's money, or fame.

I can understand the role model argument to a degree, let's say they see someone on reality TV, if they rate them as a peer or role model, then they'll aspire to be the same,and possibly wonder why they can't do the same things. However it works in reverse too, if they loathe the person, they're likely to think they're better and would be far less of a fool, and think if they can do it why can't I. The person isn't a role model, but they can potentially inspire stronger desires than a role model, to pursue the same goals.

It could be so easy to cite the impatient "everything now" culture as the root cause of problem. I don't think it necessarily is. I remember leaving college nearly 15 years ago, and being advised of the kind of job I could expect, and the salary that went with it. In my naiveity I believed it, and I recall stunning a job centre employee when arranging to sign on, by telling them what kind of salary I was looking for. They said they didn't think I would get a job offering that much, they also told me they didn't really get any of the kind of jobs I was looking for either. When I eventually did get a job the salary was about 3-4K lower than I'd been looking for, and it wasn't exactly the kind of work I wanted, but I took that job and slowly worked my way up the career ladder, into the kind of job I wanted.

I want to be the hero in a black and white film, going over to give my companion a hefty slap across the chops to bring them out of hysterial madness they've wandered into. The people in that group surveyed need that kind of wake up call. They need to learn they can't have everything now, they will have to dig through the shit to get to the gold. There are no shortcuts. I am deeply concerned that far too many people no longer want to work hard for things in their lives, whether it be work, relationships or even fame, they all mistakenly think they deserve these things. It sounds trite but anything worth having, is worth working for and that is something that people either aren't learning or they're choosing to ignore. It makes my heart sink.

This Charming Man

Last night I finally got to see Morrissey. I'd been waiting long enough for an opportunity and as a bonus he was only playing a couple of miles up the road from me. Sadly before I could revel in Morrissey I had to sit through the 6 piece support act 'Brother'. I always feel sorry for support acts who tour with someone like Moz, the crowd can't be arsed watching them and seem to barely tolerate them. Brother, I took one look at and thought 'Please no! They look like they will sound like I will want to put them out of their misery.' I wasn't far off it, while technically competent, they sounded in places like a bad Mansun, and sunk as low as sounding like thuggish twattery of Oasis. They could easily slip in that massive musical landscape of blandness. There was a backing singer who resembled the ghost out of 'Being Human' almost hidden, dancing away at the side of the stage, I'm not sure whether she was actually part of the band or had just wandered in off the street. On around seven occasions the audience were asked if they were ok. No, I'm not ok, I have to listen to your music and terribly poor banter! Sadly it was one of the longest 30 minutes of my life.

As for Morrissey,  he was good, his band were all dressed identically in black trousers, shiny black shoes and turquoise shirts and they are all stood a good 10 foot behind him, clearly drawing the boundary that 'I am the talent, you are easily replacable.' Though the guitarists are allowed to wander forwards during some brutally loud, screeching solos before running back, making you wonder what the point of them wandering to the front of the stage was for.

I recently noticed that Morrissey along with Stewart Lee and William Shatner all seem to merging into the same person. The latter Moz managed to channel during his cracking opener of 'I Want The One I Can't Have', "acting" a couple of lines in a highly amusing but very much Shatner style. Moz's set was peppered with Smiths songs, such as 'There Is A Light That Never Goes Out', 'I Know It's Over', 'Meat Is Murder', complete with 70s abbatoir footage and 'Shoplifters of the World Unite'. The evening sadly felt a bit lacklustre, it was a good gig, it wasn't caused my own expectations. I think it was perhaps the quality of the sound. When the guitars got loud, Moz wasn't drowned out, he just became incomprehensible, which is just as bad. Also the quality of the music was noticably lacking in places during some of the songs, and not just the Smiths ones.

Halfway through the set for "legal reasons" Morrissey introduced us to his band,  when he got to the drummer an evil part of me wanted to yell 'MIKE JOYCE!' just to see if Moz would storm off in a childish huff or not. I did not do this, because I'm not a twat and also I like my nice face and wouldn't want thrown from the balcony by a rather upset crowd, if he chose to leave the stage.

The gig was rounded off by an encore of 'This Charming Man' just sounded wrong, maybe it was the lack of the jangly Marr guitar that removed something from the song for me? Which given he had two guitarists and they played the Marr parts well enough elsewhere.

Morrissey? He was good, but I got far more out of the Lovely Eggs gig I was at the other month. It stirred more inside me than last night's gig did. Last night should have been so much more than it was, but it wasn't maybe Moz hit the nail on the head when after 'People Are The Same Everywhere' he said "I saw your attention wavering there, but we won't talk about it."

SetList:

I Want The One I Can't Have
First Of The Gang To Die
You Have Killed Me
Shoplifters Of The World Unite
Everyday Is Like Sunday
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out
Alma Matters
Speedway
One Day Goodbye Will Be Farewell
Action Is My Middle Name
The Kid's A Looker
People Are The Same Everywhere
Satellite Of Love
I Know It's Over
I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris
Ouija Board
Meat is Murder
Irish Blood, English Heart
This Charming Man