For the past few years, I moved my blog to my website Professional Disorganisation I decided to ditch it when I redesigned the website to try and make it funny rather than what I felt was bland. I showed my wife the new website, who complained the blog wasn't there as she liked reading it, probably because I'm more likely to write things that I don't think about saying. She said she wanted it back. So I thought I can't go through frustratingly weird css/html formatting of a blog, so why not just link to an existing one?
If I can still access some of the posts from 2012-2015 I'll transplant them here. For now onwards and upwards.
I'll leave you with this: Your Cat On Drugs!
Learning by doing, fear is overrated. No one cares if you make a pillock of yourself.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Monday, July 23, 2012
Brain dump on recent events.
I've been quieter of late because I have had shedloads too much to do. For over a month I've been in the midst of a DIY frenzy which has seen me decorating, laying floors and building and fitting a new kitchen. I've also had my girlfriend and her two children move in with me, we're still sorting out stuff two weeks after moving in, there's boxes and bags still all over the place, although you can now move in the kitchen and living room. We've been making decisions such as what to do with all the items that there is now an excess off mugs and glasses. We're getting there, though it'll probably been another couple of weeks before everything else is done. There's still a bit of painting to do and a couple of floors to lay and the insurance company need to fix my bathroom floor. It's nearly done.
Through this I have learned that basic plumbing is relatively simple and straight forward, the reason that I need an electrician to check the installation of my oven and hob is actually to do with it being in the same room as a water supply. I also started wondering why I own books, yes they're nice and I like them and they take up more space than CDs, but most of the I could have in eBook format, and to be fair only a few are actually rare enough to warrant keeping. I don't think I'll really ever re-read them, maybe the odd one, what could do with is a facility to swap a physical book for an eBook version of it. As for my CDs, ever since I put them on display I've listened to them more, and a good chunk you can get mp3s of but it doesn't account for those that are out of print, been deleted or the limited editions. Problem with electronic music is one hard drive crash and it's away, at least with eBooks on Amazon, they keep note of what you've purchases and let you access them again. Also you don't get the artwork or a nice booklet with an mp3.
Then there are the children, I have "inherited" a seven year old and a four year old. Yes I've known them for nearly 2 years, I've spent a lot of time around them, I'm aware of what I say and how I phrase it, I also know that they're good, they are angels and it's rewarding. However on the flip side, when one of them is tantruming refusing to eat their dinner because it's "yucky" or if one of them is releasing an ear piercing, mind bending scream because they've decided they're not getting what they want to do, in the heat of the moment, it is on the odd occasion very difficult not to want to get them put up for adoption. It's a bit like when kids tantrum, it can last for up to an hour, but they come out of it, apologise and everything seems back to normal, so too my patience returns and life continues on again. It can be difficult to try not to be wound up in the first place, especially when you leave the room for two minutes to make a cup of tea and the two of them start bickering over something either because they've been couped up due to the awful weather or they're not feeling so well or boredom has kicked in.
It's good know that whatever they get up to they are good kids, somewhat trying at times, but then so are all children. I know I used to be exactly the same way. They also take up a chunk of my time, no longer at the weekend can I get up at 10am wander through the living room, chuck on Saturday Kitchen and hope Anthony Worrall Thompson is a guest so I can shout 'Beard Salad' at the TV and then potter about playing computer games. It's similar to a week day, up at some point between the usual 6:45am and if I'm lucky, I might get to sleep in until 8. Wander through stick on some children's channels and go back and lie awake in bed for a while, before getting asked to make breakfast by little people. It's then time to fish out my work laptop and potter about on it for the next hour or so, either catching up on TV or pottering on the internet for a bit. And do you know what? I don't actually mind at all, I'm quite happy with it, then again lack of sleep doesn't affect me too badly. We are fortunate that the kids go and stay with their dad at the weekend, so we have one night a week where we can sleep in and catch up on any sleep, relax and recover enough to find something fun to do with them on a Sunday afternoon.
I'm still getting used to it, even though not that much has actually changed, there was two nights a week I didn't stay at Joy's, now I see the boys for an hour or two more during weekdays than I used to. What I've noticed changing is that I now feel more part of a family unit than before, more settled. My space has become "our" space. I can now go home at night and that's it, there's no more rushed dinners before scooting out again. I'll looking forward to being able to start cooking properly again. My house feels much more like a home than it has. Everyone seems happy including the cats. Life has changed, and it's definitely for the better.
Through this I have learned that basic plumbing is relatively simple and straight forward, the reason that I need an electrician to check the installation of my oven and hob is actually to do with it being in the same room as a water supply. I also started wondering why I own books, yes they're nice and I like them and they take up more space than CDs, but most of the I could have in eBook format, and to be fair only a few are actually rare enough to warrant keeping. I don't think I'll really ever re-read them, maybe the odd one, what could do with is a facility to swap a physical book for an eBook version of it. As for my CDs, ever since I put them on display I've listened to them more, and a good chunk you can get mp3s of but it doesn't account for those that are out of print, been deleted or the limited editions. Problem with electronic music is one hard drive crash and it's away, at least with eBooks on Amazon, they keep note of what you've purchases and let you access them again. Also you don't get the artwork or a nice booklet with an mp3.
Then there are the children, I have "inherited" a seven year old and a four year old. Yes I've known them for nearly 2 years, I've spent a lot of time around them, I'm aware of what I say and how I phrase it, I also know that they're good, they are angels and it's rewarding. However on the flip side, when one of them is tantruming refusing to eat their dinner because it's "yucky" or if one of them is releasing an ear piercing, mind bending scream because they've decided they're not getting what they want to do, in the heat of the moment, it is on the odd occasion very difficult not to want to get them put up for adoption. It's a bit like when kids tantrum, it can last for up to an hour, but they come out of it, apologise and everything seems back to normal, so too my patience returns and life continues on again. It can be difficult to try not to be wound up in the first place, especially when you leave the room for two minutes to make a cup of tea and the two of them start bickering over something either because they've been couped up due to the awful weather or they're not feeling so well or boredom has kicked in.
It's good know that whatever they get up to they are good kids, somewhat trying at times, but then so are all children. I know I used to be exactly the same way. They also take up a chunk of my time, no longer at the weekend can I get up at 10am wander through the living room, chuck on Saturday Kitchen and hope Anthony Worrall Thompson is a guest so I can shout 'Beard Salad' at the TV and then potter about playing computer games. It's similar to a week day, up at some point between the usual 6:45am and if I'm lucky, I might get to sleep in until 8. Wander through stick on some children's channels and go back and lie awake in bed for a while, before getting asked to make breakfast by little people. It's then time to fish out my work laptop and potter about on it for the next hour or so, either catching up on TV or pottering on the internet for a bit. And do you know what? I don't actually mind at all, I'm quite happy with it, then again lack of sleep doesn't affect me too badly. We are fortunate that the kids go and stay with their dad at the weekend, so we have one night a week where we can sleep in and catch up on any sleep, relax and recover enough to find something fun to do with them on a Sunday afternoon.
I'm still getting used to it, even though not that much has actually changed, there was two nights a week I didn't stay at Joy's, now I see the boys for an hour or two more during weekdays than I used to. What I've noticed changing is that I now feel more part of a family unit than before, more settled. My space has become "our" space. I can now go home at night and that's it, there's no more rushed dinners before scooting out again. I'll looking forward to being able to start cooking properly again. My house feels much more like a home than it has. Everyone seems happy including the cats. Life has changed, and it's definitely for the better.
Monday, March 12, 2012
Marriage and D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
Today's brain dump is based on recent articles in the press on gay people wanting to be allowed to marry, some what I assume were trolling comments in the Metro's letters page - "People who don't have children after two years of being married should have their marriage annulled." and a couple of my friends annoucing their recent engagement.
Some people view marriage as some kind of finality, a bit like death. It is a commitment which in our stereotyped world means having kids and the end of any kind of socialising with the outside world. When people do have children, regardless of marital status, it will change how they interact with other people, when and what they can do. It does not mean it is the end of their social life, they choose to make it so, or unless they have shite friends.
Even if we remove children from the equation, that hideous laddish stereotype about being "under the thumb" and the idea that you can't choose any other person to sex up remains. Being "under the thumb" is down the individuals behaviour, even outside of marriage some people will choose spending time with their partner over spending time with their friends, this is natural enough. It only becomes unhealthy when people stop seeing their friends. I don't get why people have this hang up about being with someone, you could have been with that person for 10 years, why is the concept of making a commitment to continue that frightens people? If it all goes wrong there's always divorce.
That isn't supposed to come across as cynical, because sometimes people grow apart, sometimes they become stronger, sometimes people change and turn into someone else. We can't know how relationships will work out, people outside of your relationship might think they do and if they're your friends they will, if they have balls, ask if you're happy*, and will go with your decision or keep quiet, what they won't do is lecture or berate you for it. If they are your real friends, they know that you are a grown up and responsible for your own decisions.
Relationships can fall apart for a number of reasons, whatever happens you can bet there will be a communication failure, whether it's someone not listening, or just not talking about things and ignoring problems. In a worse case scenario there is always divorce, it's not painful, unless you believe it is like a huge weight around your neck with the word "FAILURE" carved into it, which sadly many people do. Whether it's due to their upbringing, experiences of other people's divorce or that they blame themself for the divorce, even if that is not necessarily the case. Divorce can be amicable, even if you chose to marry an unstable person, it can still be easier, as long as neither party feel scorned. You may find problems from any new relationships formed and the new partner encouraging the "get everything you can/they deserve nothing" route.
While divorce isn't always pleasant, it is not the end of the world, it will mean you've had a learning experience and any regrets or mistakes you've made you'll learn from them and become a stronger person. Those who say"Marriage is just a piece of paper", it isn't. It is a commitment with legal paper work attached and should not be dismissed so easily. It is a commitment to be with someone and to love and look after them along with other things. In case anyone has forgotten, the other person also commits to the same that as well. It's an equal partnership, that is not "just a piece of paper". This is something that applies to all of us, if your relationship isn't in this state, then don't get married.**
That said, marriage should be for everyone, civil partnerships may offer an alternative to marriage, but it's not the same, I really don't see what the issue people have with everyone being allowed to marry? I see archaic views from certain religious sectors of society object for reasons which I find poor and of little relevance. Such people take religion and pick and choose bits to make it fit with their personal viewpoints in life, so the problem isn't religion, it's interolerant people. In a similar way that a knife alone doesn't kill someone, it's the person holding it and making the stabbing motion into someone else that causes it to happen.
As for me? I was happy when I got married, I was also happy when I got divorced. Would I do it again? If I felt it was the right thing to do then I would.
To my friends getting married? Congratulations to Neil and Lorna, marriage isn't scary and I'm sure you'll both be very happy.
* this happened to me - the friends looking out part, not the lecture part.
** this was a choice I had to make and walked away.
Some people view marriage as some kind of finality, a bit like death. It is a commitment which in our stereotyped world means having kids and the end of any kind of socialising with the outside world. When people do have children, regardless of marital status, it will change how they interact with other people, when and what they can do. It does not mean it is the end of their social life, they choose to make it so, or unless they have shite friends.
Even if we remove children from the equation, that hideous laddish stereotype about being "under the thumb" and the idea that you can't choose any other person to sex up remains. Being "under the thumb" is down the individuals behaviour, even outside of marriage some people will choose spending time with their partner over spending time with their friends, this is natural enough. It only becomes unhealthy when people stop seeing their friends. I don't get why people have this hang up about being with someone, you could have been with that person for 10 years, why is the concept of making a commitment to continue that frightens people? If it all goes wrong there's always divorce.
That isn't supposed to come across as cynical, because sometimes people grow apart, sometimes they become stronger, sometimes people change and turn into someone else. We can't know how relationships will work out, people outside of your relationship might think they do and if they're your friends they will, if they have balls, ask if you're happy*, and will go with your decision or keep quiet, what they won't do is lecture or berate you for it. If they are your real friends, they know that you are a grown up and responsible for your own decisions.
Relationships can fall apart for a number of reasons, whatever happens you can bet there will be a communication failure, whether it's someone not listening, or just not talking about things and ignoring problems. In a worse case scenario there is always divorce, it's not painful, unless you believe it is like a huge weight around your neck with the word "FAILURE" carved into it, which sadly many people do. Whether it's due to their upbringing, experiences of other people's divorce or that they blame themself for the divorce, even if that is not necessarily the case. Divorce can be amicable, even if you chose to marry an unstable person, it can still be easier, as long as neither party feel scorned. You may find problems from any new relationships formed and the new partner encouraging the "get everything you can/they deserve nothing" route.
While divorce isn't always pleasant, it is not the end of the world, it will mean you've had a learning experience and any regrets or mistakes you've made you'll learn from them and become a stronger person. Those who say"Marriage is just a piece of paper", it isn't. It is a commitment with legal paper work attached and should not be dismissed so easily. It is a commitment to be with someone and to love and look after them along with other things. In case anyone has forgotten, the other person also commits to the same that as well. It's an equal partnership, that is not "just a piece of paper". This is something that applies to all of us, if your relationship isn't in this state, then don't get married.**
That said, marriage should be for everyone, civil partnerships may offer an alternative to marriage, but it's not the same, I really don't see what the issue people have with everyone being allowed to marry? I see archaic views from certain religious sectors of society object for reasons which I find poor and of little relevance. Such people take religion and pick and choose bits to make it fit with their personal viewpoints in life, so the problem isn't religion, it's interolerant people. In a similar way that a knife alone doesn't kill someone, it's the person holding it and making the stabbing motion into someone else that causes it to happen.
As for me? I was happy when I got married, I was also happy when I got divorced. Would I do it again? If I felt it was the right thing to do then I would.
To my friends getting married? Congratulations to Neil and Lorna, marriage isn't scary and I'm sure you'll both be very happy.
* this happened to me - the friends looking out part, not the lecture part.
** this was a choice I had to make and walked away.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Of creativity and cycling
It's before 9am, my brain has woken up and it is full of ideas, I've no clue what most of them are. I am in that state where you feel potentially ready to achieve things I feel are important to my day, both personal and work related things. I feel like I can come up with creative things, which is great for trying to come up with some music related stuff. The only problem is that if I get interupted that great feeling will go out the window and leave my mind feeling like the shine has been taken off things, and it is often difficult to get back in to that brilliant state of mind. I have found a way to do it, however it takes about 15-20 minutes to do, and you need peace and quiet to do it. Losing that state of mind makes so much seem like a chore rather than a task to take on. It's kind of like writer's block, I really have to force myself to get things done, ideas jar, I seem to lack the enthusiasm to flesh out those ideas. So far this morning I'm still "in the zone".
The bike I got for £20 last year has decided it has reached then end of it's useful life. You read correctly, "it" has decided, not me. In the past month it has become incredibly rusty, paint flaking off and the spokes as well have started going all rusty, brakes had to get replaced, tyres had to get replaced and now the rim of my back wheel has split leaving a bulging piece of metal for about 4 inches, catching on the brake blocks. Rather than get a new wheel, I think it has reached the time for a new bike. Thankfully I don't need anything special, a cheap thing for covering 30 odd miles a week. It means I don't have to spend £60 a week on taxis going to see Joy. I could walk I guess but getting up at 6am to walk for over an hour to get to a station twice a week, is not my idea of fun. To be fair it's the getting up at arse o'clock that I have the issue with as opposed to the walking, I like walking, I should walk more, but that's not always possible at least I cycle so I'm getting exercise, so it's good. Working on the third floor of a building with no lifts, and often going up and downstairs, including to the basement fairly often, always helps.
The bike I got for £20 last year has decided it has reached then end of it's useful life. You read correctly, "it" has decided, not me. In the past month it has become incredibly rusty, paint flaking off and the spokes as well have started going all rusty, brakes had to get replaced, tyres had to get replaced and now the rim of my back wheel has split leaving a bulging piece of metal for about 4 inches, catching on the brake blocks. Rather than get a new wheel, I think it has reached the time for a new bike. Thankfully I don't need anything special, a cheap thing for covering 30 odd miles a week. It means I don't have to spend £60 a week on taxis going to see Joy. I could walk I guess but getting up at 6am to walk for over an hour to get to a station twice a week, is not my idea of fun. To be fair it's the getting up at arse o'clock that I have the issue with as opposed to the walking, I like walking, I should walk more, but that's not always possible at least I cycle so I'm getting exercise, so it's good. Working on the third floor of a building with no lifts, and often going up and downstairs, including to the basement fairly often, always helps.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
No news is, err... good news?
When I go on holiday I stop reading and watching the news, not because of some kind of odd ritual or anything. It's just that I forget about it. I forget what's going on out there in the rest of the world. I am on holiday, everything that is part of my monday to friday routine goes out the window. It's nice to have a reprieve from the rest of the world. I no longer sigh and ponder the state of humanity when the Tories are clearly trying to destroy the NHS or people are being slaughtered by their governments. I have my isolated little bubble to live in for a week where I forget about everyone elses worlds and focus on my own. My world is putting on CDs I haven't listened to in years and remembering why I like them or memories linked to them. I actually have time to cook, bake bread, and not feel I'm under pressure to cook dinner as quickly as possible. I can go and have lunch in a restaurant and not feel like I have to wolf my food down, like if I nip out for a pub lunch at work. There are days I'd like to be able to spend more time doing that, if I could afford to take an extra month of the year off unpaid I would do so without even blinking. I don't mind coming back to work, it's just that being on holiday has made me appreciate things far more. Maybe it's because it alters my perception of time altering or maybe it's by product of taking time to relax? It's time to burst the bubble, pick up a newspaper and come back into the practical world. Ah well, there's always more bubbles to look forward to.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Colds and Dentists.
I am run down again, I feel a cold starting in the back of my throat and the head mash that goes with it. I never realised how bad children are for spreading diseases. I will no doubt have this cold kicked into touch in the next day or two, due to a decent immune system, I seem to be getting these "mini colds" every couple of months, and yes I blame children, plaguebearers that they are! My girlfriend's two seem to have frequent colds or viruses they've picked up at school and brought back with them. Thankfully I don't have to go to work tomorrow, I get the joys of going to the dentist instead since I've not been in almost 5 years and I really should go back. Going to the dentist I like, I have a good dentist who doesn't take the piss, and who is very understanding and generous with the numbing chemicals since I have not been particularly fond of dentists since I got what were probably two unescessary fillings without any anesthetic when I was about 16. Another reason for going back is knowing my dad didn't go for 17 years and had to have all bar 8 teeth removed, I remember the agony the poor man was in, so I vowed not to do the same thing. I also need to get my eyes tested and see if I can pick up a set of random daily contacts for me to wear intermitantly, putting in contacts when I am tired is near bloody impossible.
Not a particularly inspiring blog today, but hey I'm sticking to writing two a week. Creatively I have two demos which require lyrics recorded and dumped into them, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Not a particularly inspiring blog today, but hey I'm sticking to writing two a week. Creatively I have two demos which require lyrics recorded and dumped into them, so I'm feeling pretty good.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Fruit Doesn't Grow In Fridges
Other than bacteria and mould not much grows in a fridge. Fridges are dark, cold places and while they're nice for keeping our favourite beverages chilled, I don't think anyone would want to live in one. No one wants to have their growth stunted physically, mentally or emotionally, living in a fridge would do exactly that to a person, so why oh why do we seem to develop out here in the nice warm world* like we've been living in a fridge. Think back to the time someone told you that you were shit at something, were you actually shit at it, or were they just putting you down, either due to jealousy or just being malicious and wanting you fail. If it's negative feedback, we let it get to us, instead of ignoring and rising above it, if people offered constructive criticism life would be a much better place, we could learn more, grow more and develop our skills and as a result end up as better human beings.
Here's a tip: if people don't ever offer you feedback, they either a) have bothered checking something out or b) probably too afraid to say "I didn't like it.", which if it's not their cup of tea, is fair game, but they need to remember you are not a fragile egocenteric*** and that you can accept it.
* Though if you've been outside "Brrrrrr! It's a bit nippy out"**
** Yes this bit is stolen from The Mary Whitehouse Experience.
*** If you are like this and if you are and take constructive criticism badly you poor delicate flower, then grow up and grow a pair (the pair you require will depend on gender).
Here's a tip: if people don't ever offer you feedback, they either a) have bothered checking something out or b) probably too afraid to say "I didn't like it.", which if it's not their cup of tea, is fair game, but they need to remember you are not a fragile egocenteric*** and that you can accept it.
* Though if you've been outside "Brrrrrr! It's a bit nippy out"**
** Yes this bit is stolen from The Mary Whitehouse Experience.
*** If you are like this and if you are and take constructive criticism badly you poor delicate flower, then grow up and grow a pair (the pair you require will depend on gender).
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